Shannon Billings
"ONE-STOP SHOPPING"
This article is about college lacrosse tryouts that are being held at the University of Maryland, USA. Hundreds of students showed up at the tryouts, and they play lacrosse for several days at the tryouts. Coaches, and teams from all over USA gather at the university to scout for players, and watch intense lacrosse games.
"The designer chairs are one-piece erections, bag as canopy, canopy as bag" is an example of a play on words. McPhee is referring to the bagged camping chairs that the coaches carry at the tryouts. He weaves humour into his writing in a discreet way. You have to be conscious of his humour or else you can miss it in the article.
The coaches use code names to talk about players, and to protect their privacy. Sometimes they talk bad about the players.
Coach 2: "Walker Clinton is an invented name, in order to protect the kid who is no good."
Coach 3 to Coach 4: "Have you considered Name Withheld?"
McPhee describes the tryouts as "this is like being in a barn at a quarter-horse auction." The tryouts are chaotic. Tryouts for lacrosse, and camps have changed over the years.

"Princeton’s Bill Tierney describes the camp as ‘one-stop shopping’ for coaches." The tryouts are a huge attraction for coaches. All of the excellent players are at the tryouts so basically the coaches can pick from the cream of the crop (the best players), and build an awesome team. This process is similar to shopping at Wal-Mart. Shopping at Wal-Mart could be considered "one-stop shopping" because you can get anything you want or need there. You just have to go to the one stop to get everything.
The camp tryouts are extremely organized. The coaches use sentence fragments when they talk, and make notes about the players. McPhee reminds the readers that it takes more than book smarts to play sports. Lacrosse requires a lot of talent, and only the outstanding players get noticed, and then picked for teams.
He uses a lot of lacrosse terminology that I am not familiar with. The coaches talk about the amazing games at the tryouts. They are impressed by many players, especially Forest Sonnenfeldt. He is quick, unstoppable, and he scores many points at the tryouts. Tierney; a coach from Princeton, is just waiting to draft Sonnenfeldt to his team.